Godverdomme. This is me with my new fake tan.
Don't get me wrong, I love the fucking sun. Because of this I spend most of my time in Benidorm. But the tanning results just aren't the same as with a good old sun bed. I just love the feeling of my skin peeling off revealing the tender pink flesh beneath. It's UV lamps all the way for me baby! Since my good for nothing brother Bas ran off with our tax returns again, I haven't had the cash to go to Benidorm anyway, so they've seen my mug at the tanning salon almost everyday. Truus, the owner, has even stopped shouting at me and gave me a discount last time! GEH!

Integrity pissed on

Godverdomme.

This is a picture of me with a rastafarian robot I made out of an old clock radio.
As an entertainer of children I thought it would make a great asset to my fucking TV show.
Unfortunately the broadcaster threatened to cancel the whole thing unless I re-wired the robot so he didn't scream "ASS!" and "FUCK!" all the time, the only two words I programmed him with. I hate it when producers mess with artistic integrity!

GEH!

Feud

Godverdomme.
Here's me trying to strangle my good for nothing brother Bas, after I caught him trying to run off with our tax returns again.
The Benidorm police had to pry us apart in the end. The joke was on them because we were stuck together good 'n proper! When my arthritmic claws grab hold of something... GHE!
They only managed to seperate us hours later, when Bas and I were friends again already.

No love lost there!

My many Travels

Godverdomme.

I have decided to travel the world in search of my long lost friend Bernie Fuck.
My travels have so far taken me to my hallway, where I found this guy mumbling chants.
I had my bear trap wife take this picture of us, before I booted him out of my fucking house.
After all, profanity goes both ways!

I'm off now, towards Benidorm, where I heard uncle Fuck was last spotted making Bramble berry wine.

GHE!

No love lost between brothers!

Godverdomme.
Here's another picture of my good for nothing brother, Bas.
He's leaning on his zimmerframe, but if I would show that on my blog, he would probably have me expidited to Belgium, the little fuckert. GHE!

Godver. My own statue.

Godverdomme. This is me with my good-for-nothing brother Bas, unveiling a little statue someone made to commemorate the fact that we are big stars in Holland. Note again the extended thumb, an international sign of acceptance.
Later that evening we were attacked by this man, who claimed it was HIM who should have a statue made of his face. We became friends emmediately, and this is a picture of him I took on a holiday trip we took together in Benidorm last year.

A picture of me

Here's a picture of me in my acrobat costume, sticking up my thumb, because it is a symbol of acceptance.